What Was Mine
by Glory Alchemist
Summary: Not every Jedi is as wise as Master Yoda or as powerful as Master Windu. What happens to those the Order deems unfit to be warriors of peace?


**This story takes place about two years before the start of the Clone Wars. Both Cho-Chi and Seeley are my OCs. **

**I do not own Star Wars.**

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><p>Cho-Chi Hon would have liked nothing better than to fall asleep and not wake up for a few decades. The day had been busier than usual, what with the threat of a theta storm in the red zone. Her section supervisor had wanted to get as much of the ashishii grain harvested and into the storehouses as possible, then he'd nearly had a mental breakdown over having to leave the kwartik fruits on their vines because they still weren't ripe enough to pick. He'd ranted on about loss of profit and terrible waste. Cho-Chi could sympathize. She understood the pain of leaving valuable produce that she'd worked hard to nurture and grow to the dubious mercy of the elements.<p>

But for Cho-Chi, it was more than the potential loss of profit and effort that upset her. She had nurtured those plants from the time they were seedlings. She'd watered them, fertilized them, and lavished attention upon them like a doting mother. They were more than plants; they were life forms that were as individual as any thinking beings. They each had their own personalities and little quirks that she used to tell them apart. They were friends.

Unlike some people that came to work for the Agricultural Corporation outpost on Bandomeer, Cho-Chi wanted to be here. She'd grown up in the Agri Corps, saturated in the smell of growing things and the feel of warm rich earth between her bear tows. Both her parents worked for the Agri Corps as botanical engineers. Cho-Chi's earliest memories were of her parents' lab on their home world of Pantora. The room had been so filled with plants that the light that had filtered through the glass roof had been green by the time it reached her under the lab table.

She had left the green-lit lab and civilized Pantora with her parents when she was no older than three for the Outer Rim world of Bandomeer, where there was more wilderness than cities and the weather was so unpredictable that the settlements were all equipped with powerful shield generators. It was on this plant, far from what most would consider civilization, that she'd grown up. Her little brothers were born here. She couldn't imagine wanting another home or another life.

Cho-Chi had had very little exposure to the outside galaxy. She knew that nominally Bandomeer was part of the Republic. She watched the holonews when the reception was good enough to get a signal through. But much of what she saw were things so unrelated to her narrow existence that she had trouble understanding them: Galactic giants like Alderaan and Coruscant; the power struggles in the Senate; the growing tension between the Republic and an increasing number of planets that wanted to secede; Jedi. What little real contact Cho-Chi had with the galaxy came through the beings that came from off-world to work for the Agri Corps. Through them, she got the barest taste of what another life, completely different from her own, might be like.

Many of the people who came from off-world were like her parents, people who made a career out of caring for plants. Others were not. Some of the people who came to Bandomeer did so because they had nowhere else to go.

Cho-Chi had seen Seeley Vantai on the day she first arrived. She'd been rather surprised by the sight of the young Togruta girl; usually the people who got off the shuttle were adults, not scrawny teenagers. But she'd been glad at the prospect of female company her age. She'd introduced herself and showed the other girl the various facilities of the outpost. Cho-Chi had been very pleased when Seeley had been assigned to her work crew. She had hoped that they could be friends.

It wasn't easy. Seeley was quiet and withdrawn, seeming to prefer her own company to that of others. And she had a disconcerting way of looking at people, as though she could see more than what a person was actually saying. It might have simple been an effect of her different colored eyes, one grey and one green, but it was off-putting and made it hard to get near her. Cho-Chi persevered, remembering her mother's saying about not judging Alderaanian peas by their shells, and eventually did manage to become the girl's friend.

Seeley did seem to relax with her, at least enough to give the occasional smile or half laugh. But there were things that she refused to talk about, even with her new friend. In response to Cho-Chi's insistent queries about why she'd come to Bandomeer, the young Togruta had finally replied, "My family didn't want me, so they sent me away." Cho-Chi stopped asking questions after that.

The Pantoran girl sighed softly and rolled over in her bunk to regard her friend's across from her. To her surprise, the dimmed lights revealed an empty bed. Seeley's boots were also gone. Cho-Chi sat up, pushing pale purple hair out of her eyes, and slid out of bed, wincing slightly as her bare feet touched the cold metal floor. She quickly pulled on her heavy work boots and grabbed her jacket before slipping out into the cool night. The air was still, and the sky surprisingly clear, with no sign of an approaching theta storm. Cho-Chi looked around, trying to guess where her friend might be, and on a hunch, headed for the Ixxian sweet-grass fields.

Cho-Chi had guessed right. Standing out on one of the low hills covered in knee high soft grass was the small form of a Togruta, silhouetted black against the dark velvet of the night. Seeley stood in an easy stance, feet shoulder width apart and hands clasped behind her, head tilted up to stare at the bright wheel of stars and moons overhead. She didn't turn to see Cho-Chi approach, but she spoke to her anyway.

"The stars were never this bright on Coruscant. Most nights, you couldn't see them at all because of the light pollution."

Cho-Chi drew in a slow breath and moved to stand beside her friend. This was the first time that Seeley had volunteered information about her past. So she was from Coruscant, the Republic capital. Cho-Chi couldn't even begin to imagine a planet that was supposedly an entire city. She stayed quiet, hoping Seeley would continue. She did.

"I recognize a lot of the constellations from the Star Room. Master Mirza would take our clan there and turn off all the lights. The whole galaxy would fill the room, entire star systems at our fingertips. Master Mirza would recite the names of the major worlds, their capitals, and their leaders and we'd have to repeat them back to her."

Cho-Chi was confused. What was a Star Room? And who was Master Mirza? _Master?_

Seeley's voice took on a wistful tone. "I used to sneak in there after lights out and turn on the holoprojector. I could walk through fields of stars, like I was walking through space. I used to pretend that I was the Force, guarding the galaxy from evil. I liked to imagine what worlds I'd be sent to once I was a Knight and could leave the Temple."

The Force…Temple…Knight. The words came together in Cho-Chi's mind, and suddenly everything made sense. Understanding blossomed in her like a sudden sunrise, and she stared at her friend in growing awe. "You're a Jedi."

Seeley's body gave a sudden jerk at those words. She bowed her head, fists curling tightly at her sides before relaxing. "No, I'm not."

"Don't try that with me." Cho-Chi was growing excited. It all made sense now. All the odd little details about her friend that hadn't added up: her way of looking into people, her habit of sitting quietly on her bed for hours at a time when they didn't have any work, the very way she carried herself. It all made sense. "I know you're a Jedi; don't try to deny it." Cho-Chi's mind raced. "What are you doing on Bandomeer? Are you on a mission?"

"No. I'm not a Jedi."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. Not anymore." Seeley's voice sounded flat, emotionless. Dead.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean they threw me out!" Suddenly Seeley's voice wasn't emotionless. It was sharp, full of anger. "I didn't make the grade, and they threw me out."

Cho-Chi was confused. That couldn't be right. Jedi didn't do things like that. They were the Republic's champions, defenders of peace and justice. They helped those who couldn't help themselves and asked nothing in return. "But—"

"I'm thirteen," said Seeley bitterly.

What did that have to do with it?

Seeley seemed to speak directly to her thoughts. "When an initiate turns thirteen, they're too old to be taken as a Padawan." She laughed bitterly. "No one chose me. I was the weakest of my clan mates. The Force isn't strong with me, and that's what Masters always look for. But even then I might have had a chance if I'd been better at controlling my emotions. No one said anything to me, but I know what they all thought. _She has no control. She's a danger to herself and others. She's not worth the risk._"

Seeley gasped suddenly, as if experiencing a sharp pain. "I heard Master Windu say that I was…that I—" Her own words seemed to be choking her. "That I was _clouded in darkness_. That he couldn't see any good coming from me getting a Master."

Seeley's whole body shuddered. The grass around the young Togruta had begun to move in a wind that wasn't there. Cho-Chi could see the grass move, could see Seeley's lekku shifting on her shoulders, but no breath of air touched her skin. The night was still.

"They sent me to the Agri Corps. That's where they send all the failures." Seeley's voice was rising steadily now. "'Worthy work,' they always said. 'Honorable work.' They make me _sick_! As if it isn't humiliating enough to fail at the only thing I've ever wanted, they had to make it worse by pretending that a hoe is the same as a lightsaber, and the mud of a potato field is as exciting as the dust of a hundred planets beneath my feet." She let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob.

The invisible wind had picked up, whipping the grass into a frenzy. The air felt charged and heavy, like just before a terrible storm breaks. Cho-Chi could feel the energy crawling over her skin, and it terrified her. Yet at the same time, she was intrigued. The images that Seeley had put into her mind were so vivid that she could almost reach out and touch them. Cho-Chi couldn't imagine another life, had never wanted one. But after hearing what Seeley had said, about a city planet with no stars, a universal Force, hundreds of planets just waiting to be found. . . she had to wonder.

"Fierfek!"

Cho-Chi was yanked back to the present by Seeley's sudden oath. She stood head bowed, hands clenched at her sides. Her entire body trembled, as though she were desperately trying to contain some terrible monster that was eating her alive.

"They took away everything!" Her voice was now a shout, echoing across the deserted fields. "They took my lightsaber. They took the only life I ever wanted. They took away my future! They took everything that was mine!"

It was too much. Seeley threw her head back and screamed her helpless anger to the sky.

A sudden surge of energy sent Cho-Chi sprawling. She stared in growing fear at her friend, whom she barely recognized. Her face was twisted with misery and utter loss. Tears poured from her unblinking eyes as she stared fixedly at the cold swirl of moons.

"They abandoned me! They threw me away without a second thought when I wasn't useful anymore!"

Cho-Chi crouched on the ground and used both arms to shield her head. The grass raged around her, tearing itself to pieces. She could do nothing, only wait for it to pass. Cho-Chi found herself praying, but to what she didn't know. Maybe to some god, though she'd never put much stock in religion. Maybe to the Force.

Slowly the invisible windstorm stopped and the grass settled. When Cho-Chi cautiously raised her head, she met Seeley's grief-stricken eyes. "They betrayed me and left me," she whispered. "But you know what? I'd still go back. If Master Yoda came right now and offered me a chance to be a Jedi again, I'd take it without a second thought."

Seeley's knees suddenly buckled. Cho-Chi barely managed to dive forward and catch her before the young Togruta collapsed. She sagged against Cho-Chi, her breathing slow and raspy, exhausted. They sat in silence, one girl holding the other, until Seeley slowly pushed away from her friend.

"I'm going to bed." With that, she trudged off in the direction of the bunk houses. There was nothing for Cho-Chi to do but follow.

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><p><strong>Please review.<strong>

**mad'ika**


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